Hi-Tech-And-Antique: Bazooka Joe, We Hardly Knew Ya

We found this artifact of days gone by while preparing listings of upcoming merchandise. This would be from the last days of the formerly mighty penny, when a penny actually had a utilitarian purpose, such as buying a piece of artificial chicle, rather than a mere vehicle for remittance to a local state tax board of a fractional portion of a retail purchase. It features the post-WWII character Bazooka Joe, in his earlier incarnation, with the mysterious eye-patch. Please note the coupon on the right for the round "Playing Cards", something which we never partook of. Who had time to collect bubble gum comics, let alone the concentration to place them in an envelope and mail them? Life was far to busy with endless activities like capturing lightning bugs in a jar or exploring deserted and derelict Victorian haunted houses. The humor in these little comics was always a little on the childish side, with contrived situations and a little stereotyping here and there, but given the format, a tiny rectangle of wax paper cleverly wrapped around a piece of bubble gum, it was more than adequate. Note also the "fortune", perhaps as in "fortune cookie", in which through a mysterious divination process, some common phrase is elevated to the status of a powerful oracle. "Some things are better read than said" it says here.

No specific plot or instance of this seemingly endless series of "comics" comes to mind upon recalling the career of Bazooka Joe, not even the names of his loyal compadres, though thousands of these tiny squares probably passed through our hands over decades. We had the silver amalgam and the dental bills to prove that.

Whether that is the erosive passing of too many years, or simply the uninspired nature of the writing, they nonetheless now bring to mind a rush of palpable mental sensations: the sight, smell, and sound of juvenilia and all the accouterments: comic books, candy bars, jars of confectionery, walking in bare feet or leather shod feet to a local sucrose emporium to purview the vast selection of reading materials. Oh, those were the days, when collector’s items were to be had for a pittance, a pocketful of change - and this waxen artifact is one of the few reminders of those halcyon days of yore. If we had only known of the future of eBay and all the vast wealth that it entailed, and the inestimably precious nature of those comic books, we would instead now be comfortably retired and living on Park Avenue now and having our butler summoned with the pull of a velvet rope to bring us trays of dainties and refreshing drinks.